From Strength to Strength

There are seven big predictors of being Happy-Well that we can control pretty directly:[6] 1. Smoking. Simple: don’t smoke—or at least, quit early. 2. Drinking. Alcohol abuse is one of the most obvious factors in the Grant Study leading to Sad-Sick and putting Happy-Well out of reach. If there is any indication of problem drinking in your life, or

This discipline helps us work on mindfulness—living in the present as opposed to the past or future—which studies consistently find leads us to be happier people. But it also helps us to make the decisions that truly expose our best selves.

What gives you more satisfaction, an extra hour at work or an hour helping someone in need—or perhaps an hour in prayer?

Furthermore, keeping and building your eulogy virtues is inherently rewarding.

You lose your edge on those résumé skills, as everyone reading this book either knows or fears. Meanwhile, the eulogy virtues can get stronger and stronger, all the way up the crystallized intelligence curve and beyond.

The striver’s life makes it hard to focus on eulogy virtues. We want to be good people, of course, but focusing on eulogy virtues feels just so . . . not special.

Résumé virtues are professional and oriented toward earthly success. They require comparison with others. Eulogy virtues are ethical and spiritual and require no comparison. Your eulogy virtues are what you really would want people to talk about at your funeral.

As one retired CEO told me as I was writing this book, “In just six months I went from ‘Who’s Who’ to ‘Who’s He?’ ”

In my conversations for this book, many people in the end stages of their careers talked about how they wanted to be remembered. But it doesn’t work: they forget you. People move on.