Finding Your Own North Star: Claiming the Life You Were Meant to Live

Adam is spoiled rotten. Everyone gives him stuff, because it’s such infectious fun to watch him receive. If you let yourself respond to your own good fortune like Adam does, people will want to give to you, too.

my version of the Beauty Way chant. It’s very simple. It goes like this: There is beauty before me, and there is beauty behind me. There is beauty to my left, and there is beauty to my right. There is beauty above me, and there is beauty below me. There is beauty around me, and there is beauty within me

All you’ve go to do now is solve for X. In order to realize your goal,

This is Square Two laughter, a spontaneous outburst of effervescent happiness. Some of my clients, like Diane, have little or no prior experience with this feeling.

and immediately your pulse will quicken. Your energy will surge. You’ll feel a kind of nervous elation that simply can’t be faked. Your essential self won’t respond this way to something that isn’t really part of your own North Star. Nor will it get all fluttery and excited about a goal that’s either easy or truly impossible—but remember, a lot of

2. Take Down All the “One Way” Signs.

A “turtle step” is my label for the largest possible task that your essential self can do easily. That last word—easily—is very, very important. We’re not talking about how much you can do when you’re pushing a deadline, ignoring all other responsibilities, fueling yourself with gallons of caffeine, and receiving a fortuitous visit from the muse. E

Hope—real, spontaneous hope, with its accompanying excitement and delight—is the key signal that you’re moving out of Square One and into Square Two of the change cycle.

EXERCISE At the top of a piece of notebook paper, write the words “This Is What Happened.” Then put down a description of something that hurt you emotionally. Next, write “This Is How I Feel About It,” and describe your emotional response to the event.

I hate these people. I hate their cocktail parties. I hate their Rolodex relationships.