key insight of Bowen theory is that people cut off a relative not because they no longer care but because they may care too much. When the emotional intensity of a relationship becomes too

As they often put it, rather than remain frozen in the past, they decided it was “time to move on.”

“What part did I play in how we got to where we are? And what can I do about fixing my part?”

The two sisters began to distance themselves as they reached their late twenties.

few greater barriers to reconciliation exist than an absolute belief in that statement.

Many of the estranged parents I interviewed, however,

Stop wasting emotion on something that’s not going to be there.

Estrangement is a process that involves hundreds or thousands of small interactions over time, in which both relationship partners make choices that can distance them or provide opportunities to connect.

Bridging the rift requires abandoning the urge to align the past. Indeed, it was only when imposing their view of past events no longer mattered that they