
Failure Is an Option: An Attempted Memoir

Teens are this grisly combination of suppressed rage, sexual confusion, vanity, and unrelenting incompetence, but there may be a redeeming sweetness there, somewhere, buried very deep. Just imagine Donald Trump but more agile. Or a turkey vulture. There is a constant war between needing affirmation and shunning affirmation.
H. Jon Benjamin • Failure Is an Option: An Attempted Memoir
I have an unquenchable thirst for apathy.
H. Jon Benjamin • Failure Is an Option: An Attempted Memoir
“proudly unaccomplished.”
H. Jon Benjamin • Failure Is an Option: An Attempted Memoir
My unique talents centered more around watching TV while eating SpaghettiOs raw from the can,
H. Jon Benjamin • Failure Is an Option: An Attempted Memoir
My decision to run was somewhat quixotic, as in I decided to run the day of the elections.
H. Jon Benjamin • Failure Is an Option: An Attempted Memoir
I had so much time to get good at something, but no . . . nothing.