At the heart of Nhat Hanh’s teachings is the idea that “understanding is love’s other name” — that to love another means to fully understand his or her suffering. (“Suffering” sounds rather dramatic, but in Buddhism it refers to any source of profound dissatisfaction — be it physical or psychoemotional or spiritual.)
When we feed and support our own
... See moreTrue love includes a sense of responsibility and accepting the other person as she is, with all her strengths and weaknesses. If you only like the best things in a person, that is not love. You have to accept her weaknesses and bring your patience, understanding, and energy to help her transform.
Jason DeAntonis • How to Love (Mindful Essentials)
To be loved but not known is comforting but superficial. To be known and not loved is our greatest fear. But to be fully known and truly loved is, well, a lot like being loved by God. It is what we need more than anything. It liberates us from pretense, humbles us out of our self-righteousness, and fortifies us for any difficulty life can throw at ... See more
Timothy Keller • The Meaning of Marriage: Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of God
When you truly understand yourself, you will be able to identify shared beliefs to bond over with others, and fundamental differences to overcome. Connection is not always about agreeing. It is about feeling heard, understood, and valued. Understanding yourself leads to others understanding you, which helps you understand them.
Brian Miller • Three New People: Make the Most of Your Daily Interactions and Stop Missing Amazing Opportunities
To be shown love is to feel ourselves the object of concern: our presence is noted, our name is registered, our views are listened to, our failings are treated with indulgence and our needs are ministered to. And under such care, we flourish.
from Status Anxiety by Alain de Botton
