Touch her only once and withdraw. Take your time before doing any regular stroking. We have found that instead of a stroke, a gentle pressing against the clitoris causes less fear and anxiety.

focusing on the techniques for putting your partner at ease and making him feel safe. Then take the cock in your hands and look at it from all sides. Then smell and taste it from all sides. Next, experiment with different pressures and strokes that may feel good to your partner. Remember to ask before you squeeze harder, and proceed in small increm

Q Why do I take so long to start coming? A Your attention is on some future event, some potential orgasm that you want to reach but have not reached yet. That is why, in our masturbation exercise in Chapter 5, we insisted that you not do it for the future orgasm, but for the pleasure that you feel with each stroke. Most people have been conditioned

Know that one of the main things we emphasize—performing one task at a time, as either doer or doee—is very effective in the production of pleasure.

Then continue rubbing until you think the next stroke or two will put her over the edge, and then peak her. After she comes down slightly, you can continue your stroking. The pleasurable feeling that she is having is really orgasm, and as long as you keep peaking her and she doesn’t tense up, she will continue to be able to be touched. Each of her

You will have to re-educate or recondition yourself as well as your lover to relax rather than tense. Every time she tenses, gently tell her to relax. You can tell her to push out, which helps people relax; when they tense up, they are usually pulling in.

With someone who comes well you can use the added technique of communicating your intention of taking her higher.

Pushing out is also beneficial during intercourse. Usually, arousal causes the vaginal walls to balloon out, which tends to shorten the vagina. This can cause the penis to bang against the cervix, which is not only unpleasant but also possibly painful. Pushing out prevents this, and it collapses the vaginal walls so that they touch the penis on all

You can choose to see the obstacles in your life as resistance that you can enjoy overcoming. Games are problems that we enjoy, and problems are games that we deny wanting to play. Problems exist because people refuse to see the solution, even if it is obvious to someone else. People become attached to their problems. In our work, we have found tha