Exhausted Wives, Bewildered Husbands: Why your marriage is hurting, and how to blossom as a couple

Alan only found the courage to leave his first girlfriend because he believed he could earn love more reliably elsewhere. This pattern continued until he met Sara during a brief period of being single. His eagerness to help others and professed Christian values attracted her and made her believe he wanted a healthy marriage like she did. She missed

If I’m lonely in my marriage, what sorts of connecting activities are missing? If I’m fearful, what would calm my concerns and help me feel more secure?

Rather, this means she must be honest about her desires and willing to give her husband a chance to prove himself, even if her forgiveness is a long way off and will require much proof.

The only people who condemn a person for one honest mistake are unhealthy people with severe trust issues, and it is better to weed these people out quickly by acknowledging a mistake and causing them to run away. Nothing has been lost in this event.

She has complained about these behaviors for years and Alan admits to every fault she finds, promising to behave differently.

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Simmering dissatisfaction stews just under the surface of their desperate clawing for approval, and this resentment explodes to the surface in patterns of frequent displays of hurtful anger, followed by a plunge deeper into doormat behavior as they fearfully seek to avoid abandonment for having lashed out.

Resentment mounts as the previously-healthy partner finds themselves doing and saying things they abhor.

Usually, the child sets out on a journey to earn love from others. They become enormously eager to please and cannot say no. They are frequent targets of abuse by others because they’re so desperate for approval and have no one to report abuse to.