Exactly What to Say: The Magic Words for Influence and Impact

if you offer someone the choice between two numbers, you are likely to receive a fifty-fifty response. Yet a direct question involving only the larger option and the Magic Word “enough” swings those odds far further in your direction.

When you tell people what most people would do, their brain says, “I’m most people, so perhaps that is what I should do too.”

Prefacing a statement with the Magic Words, “I bet you’re a bit like me,” quite often results in the other person comfortably agreeing with what you are saying, providing that you are reasonable.

Using the Magic Words, “The good news is...” as a preface to your chosen point ensures that the recipient has to accept the label you have attached to it. This optimistic spin can help you face negativity in your life, prevents you from ending up in a self-sabotaging conversation of blame and pity

What about when somebody is resisting change but says they want more success? You could respond with, “The good news is you already know that what you are doing now is not working, so what is the harm in trying this?”

When it comes to the timing, there are literally dozens of moments that you can ask for a referral. If you take the time to consider all the examples of “good times,” they will all have one thing in common—the other person is happy.

You meet with someone to introduce them to your ideas and look to gain their commitment. They kind of like you and your ideas, but they are not so sure, and the meeting is coming to a close. You thank them for their time, pack your things up and head for the door. At this point you could create a Columbo moment and turn back to them with the words,

Success in negotiating is all about maintaining control in a conversation, and the person in control is always the person who is asking the questions. By treating every objection you face as nothing more than a question, you can quickly regain control of the conversation by asking a question in return.

By creating these “if... then” sandwiches, you can position guaranteed outcomes that are very difficult not to believe. If you are prepared to give this a try, then I am certain you will see the results as early as the first day you try