“ Everyone wants to attend parties, but no one wants to thro...

“ Everyone wants to attend parties, but no one wants to throw them. We just expect them to appear when we need them, like fire trucks. My point is that we are obligated to create the social world we want. Intimacy, togetherness—the opposite of the crushing loneliness so many people seem to feel—are what parties alchemize.” As someone who tends to host a little more than average in my friend group (even though I hate it, lol), I support this. -via Americans Need to Party More by Ellen Cushing for The Atlantic.

“Everyone wants to attend parties, but no one wants to throw them. We just expect them to appear when we need them, like fire trucks. My point is that we are obligated to create the social world we want. Intimacy, togetherness—the opposite of the crushing loneliness so many people seem to feel—are what parties alchemize.” As someone who tends to host a little more than average in my friend group (even though I hate it, lol), I support this.

-via Americans Need to Party More by Ellen Cushing for The Atlantic.

Saved by sari and

RelatedCollections

The kinds of gatherings I specialize in creating could be terrifying to people who share this sensibility. That doesn’t mean there is no place for such gatherings, or that people with this inclination need to just take or leave it, or that they should not be invited. It means that some of your guests will share her aversion, and if you are going to

Priya Parker • The Art of Gathering: How We Meet and Why It Matters

This year, pay your taxes: Resolve to throw two parties—two because two feels manageable, and chain-letter math dictates that if every party has at least 10 guests (anything less is not a party!) and everyone observes host-guest reciprocity (anything else is sociopathic!), then everyone gets 20 party invitations a year—possibly many more. Bear in m... See more

archive.is

Even IRL socializing becomes a numbers game, where networking and schmoozing become the standard and everything needs to be a Brand Actvation or pop-up or pseudo- Community event with 3 fliers. True, quality intimacy seems to be going the way of cursive handwriting.

Mark Sabino • It’s All Sweetgreen

For most people, loneliness doesn't stem from a lack of friends. It comes from not feeling connected to the friends you already have, while "peering in" on their lives via social media. (You can read more about this in the ancient text Big Friendship.) This problem is not fixable if you expect community to just happen naturally . It is fixable if y... See more

Link

Ppl underestimate how proactive you need to be to make friends as an adult For most of human history, adult friendship was a side effect of contexts where repeated casual interaction was ensured: neighborhoods, church, associations, etc These contexts have largely disintegrated, but adults have not adapted. We’re still implicitly *waiting for fri... See more

Tyler Alterman

x.com

you can also, occasionally or frequently, create social events that spark new friendships and possibilities. Host a party with people you know well and don’t, invite a shy person, make them comfortable. Share your weird hobbies. Explore new parts of a city with people you know. Also, you don’t even need to be there to be prosocial. Introduce people

Sasha Chapin • A Brief Practical Guide to Being an Infinite Player

After seeing some 800~ events take place at The Commons i've learned 3 things:

1) plausible deniability: if you say we're here to make friends, friendship doesn't happen. if you say we're here to research or talk about niche topic x and y, friendships always form. same applies to dating.

2) communities are built from strong 1-1 relationships. as an e

40 pieces of "advice"

In entertainment, as in dining, modernity has transformed a ritual of togetherness into an experience of homebound reclusion and even solitude.

Priya Parker • The Art of Gathering: How We Meet and Why It Matters

archive.is

Mark Sabino • It’s All Sweetgreen

Link

Sasha Chapin • A Brief Practical Guide to Being an Infinite Player

40 pieces of "advice"

Derek Thompson • The Anti-Social Century