Erotic Orientation: Helping Couples and Individuals Understand Their Sexual Lives

Trying to abstain from some form of sexual expression often leads to an increase in the behavior.

Porn can certainly be used “instead of” a partner though. But then it is a relationship or attachment problem, not a porn problem.

core erotic

I help couples by decoding the nonsexual narrative of the porn that they discover.

For him, the content of the porn may express parts of himself he may not be able to express nonsexually.

“What is the content of the porn bringing up for each of you?” Both have given the porn a meaning, and I hold the value of that meaning in high regard for both.

which is more likely erotic differences.

fact, the porn is often not the problem, but rather each partner’s relationship to the porn.

The first advice I offer is, "Let’s slow things down.” It is critical that partners lower reactivity when learning about the other’s sexual interest. Discoveries like this raise hackles that couples didn’t even know they had.