Attachment research indicates that when a child defies the instinctive urge to want to attach to his or her mother, it is because the mother has been perceived in some important way as unavailable. My basic thesis is that children turn away from Mother out of disappointment and hurt and in self-defense. They turn away because it hurts too much to

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Avoid yelling. The more matter-of-fact, the better. Raised voices trigger fear and stress hormones. Keep anger and frustration out of voice tone.15 • Be in control without being controlling.16 The teacher manages the teacher-student relationship. He sets the tone, rhythm, cadence, and emotional quality. Teachers need to make it clear in their

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