Emotional Sensitivity and Intensity: How to manage intense emotions as a highly sensitive person - learn more about yourself with this life-changing self help book (Teach Yourself)

Uncovering what lies underneath your past can seem threatening, but false tranquillity upheld by a facade of ‘okay-ness’ is fragile and short-lived. In the end, self-deception is toxic; unmourned pains and unspoken words can only lie dormant for so long.

Some research found that ongoing negative feedback towards the young person’s intuitive perception is the most damaging (Park et al., 1992). If the parents explicitly or implicitly reject the child’s idiosyncrasies, the child will internalize the shame of rejection and experience themselves as being profoundly bad (toxic shame), and their natural g

The scapegoat role is not assigned by accident. It is often imposed on the innately sensitive and hyper-empathic child because they often are the ‘whistleblower’ who sees through and points out the facade. As the family members ‘discharge’ their resentment, the child becomes the carrier of all the angst and suppressed negativity in the family.

You may suddenly feel drastically different, have certain intrusive thoughts, or act in a certain way. When you have a ‘mood flip’, as if you suddenly switch from being a rational adult into a tantrum-throwing child, you are re-living the trauma at the level of that of a child. As a result, you may lash out at your partner, have inexplicable rage,

As an empath, you possess a natural gift for making instant connections with the emotions of others – and this all happens automatically and unconsciously. If you fail to realize this – and to distinguish your feelings from those of others – you can become overwhelmed with undue stress and pain from those around you. Mental symptoms like mood swing

Remember that true intimacy is only achieved when you can allow the other person to be exactly as they are. The more your mind is preoccupied with how things should be, the more tension you will feel, and the more distance you create between you.

While the image of the event may not return visually, as it often would if you had post traumatic stress disorder, your emotional flashback may show up in other ways such as negative self-talk, a knot in your stomach, tightness in the chest, or a flood of fear, shame and powerlessness.

They may feel compelled to point out the truth, or feel unable to play ‘the game’.

When you turn away from feeling bad emotions, you turn away from feeling good emotions too. You may become an observer of life, watching it go by without being ‘in’ it. Some people may even experience memory loss, as they do not remember much of their life – even looking at old pictures of themselves can seem surreal. Life’s pain may seem dampened,

As an adult, you may have trouble feeling safe in relationships, due to the early betrayal of trust in your family. You may intellectually understand that you are not the cause of problems in your family, but to shift the internalized shame requires deeper emotional healing.