Mind reading is not a requirement for any relationship. Don't assume that your partner does or should know what you are thinking or feeling. It's your job to tell your partner what you are thinking and feeling: just say it out loud. And if you are unsure what your partner is thinking or feeling, ask.

To address a specific behavior and how it's affecting you without making assumptions, try following these three steps: Isolate the behavior Define the emotions that the behavior elicited Construct a "when _____ happened, I felt _____" statement So for example, let's say that you've noticed on your last few dates that your partner will answer calls

Most of these restrictive rules are made with good intentions and with the goal of preserving the security and primacy of the original couple. However, they usually fail to do just that and in fact often serve as the impetus for the couple's demise. And the reason for that it quite simple: rules made out of fear are usually ineffective. Rules don't

Sometimes, these restrictions are applied in an attempt to assure that the original partners will feel special after new partners have been brought in. And this is a real and valid concern; if you love and value your relationship as it is now and are bracing for change, it's natural to be afraid that your uniqueness might be lost in the fray of New

Additionally, avoid telling yourself you should feel something different from your current state. We torture ourselves all the time with an interior monologue of "I should be happy now" or "I shouldn't feel jealous because I know she loves me."

This one guideline has held me in good stead over many relationships: if you are afraid to say something, it means you absolutely MUST say that thing. Chances are that your partner already senses there is something wrong. So when you feel the first tinge of a negative emotion, be brave and bring it up.

Emotions come from within each of us and are usually the result of a combination of programming, past life experiences and our own natural inclinations. Barring cases of abuse or violence, it's important to understand that your emotions are yours and yours alone. Therefore, we should avoid disempowering ourselves by blaming others for making us

Rather than expressing guesses as to your partner's motivations, talk about your own feelings (remember those feelings that we own?). And form them using statements that begin with "I" rather than "you." For example, if your partner was late picking you up from work, you might say, "I feel abandoned and annoyed when you are late picking me up. I

So the question is not, "what are the rules of polyamory?" but rather "what type of relationship works for me/us?" To that end, consider the following questions to ask yourself and, if you have a partner(s), discuss with him, her or them. And keep in mind that these questions should be revisited during your regular relationship check-ins over time,