the public persona you’re constructing has to be your choice on some level. You have got to be both the designer and the model of your own personal brand. You still have to please yourself even while you are dressing within the parameters set by someone else. You have to be conscious of the code.

there are still ways to be yourself, and to make a look your own, while meeting the requirements of the collective, without making yourself vulnerable to bias. Whatever you wear, there has to be some level of authenticity, whether it’s blatant or subtle.

I do not want to be criticized for what I wear. For the days when I’m at home, dressing to fit in with my family feels better emotionally than risking provoking their commentary. I value protecting myself emotionally in that situation more than I value feeling 100 percent totally amazing in my clothes. Psychologically, for me, in that context,

When you go too far in either direction—using clothes to fit in, or denying yourself clothes for fear of sticking out—you lose what makes you you.

Logomania much? If you are really coveting luxury labels, you might be trying to compensate for diminished personal power. What can you do today to empower yourself that has nothing to do with acquiring status symbols?

A Focal Accessory is any item that makes you feel calm, connected, or confident.

Red gets hearts racing (literally). In the West, because of its association with our life force—blood—red symbolizes passion, vigor, excitement, energy, courage, and action.

What’s the lesson? Mood Illustrating may not be useful when the mood you’re perpetuating is melancholy. Dressing to match her emotions would only compound Patricia’s deteriorating self-esteem, but Mood Enhancement Dressing just might improve

want you to feel like a woman again, to feel like a human being again, to remember the physical sensations of confidence.