After putting so much work into a singular pursuit, it can be nearly impossible to let it go. No one wants to fail, to come so close but turn away. But tough individuals possess the self-awareness to evaluate and weigh the contrasting pulls of the desire to continue to reach their goal and the reality of the demands they face, and the risks that

Toughness is about making the pull for closure amid uncertainty work with you, not against you.

Whenever we face something that throws our internal state off-kilter, we go about trying to solve it. We seek out a solution that moves disorder to order.

Our brain is an uncertainty-reducing machine, willing to do whatever it takes to minimize surprise, even if it is at a high cost.

real toughness is experiencing discomfort or distress, leaning in, paying attention, and creating space to take thoughtful action. It’s maintaining a clear head to be able to make the appropriate decision. Toughness is navigating discomfort to make

“Healthy adaptation is the result of flexibly choosing between regulation strategies to adapt to differing situational demands.” It’s not that distraction, suppression, reappraisal, detachment, or shifting to a broad or narrow worldview is good or bad. They all work—and don’t. TOUGHNESS

The striatum, an area linked to reward processing, activates when we have the ability to choose.

so reverting to a simpler form of dialogue can ease the burden and deliver a more succinct and actionable message.

I didn’t resort to powering through. I processed through. True toughness is about navigating.