Do Hard Things: Why We Get Resilience Wrong and the Surprising Science of Real Toughness

Athletes fear that if they are not training, they are falling behind, their fitness slowly seeping out of them.

Notice the sensations and thoughts that arise, trying not to judge or assign meaning to them.

If feelings are meant to inform and nudge, emotions are the alarm bells, screaming at you that something changed and that you need to do something

Doubts and insecurities are part of being human.

A quiet ego is about keeping ourself in balance—coming to terms with the need for confidence, but being keenly aware of the strengths and weaknesses of ourselves and our situation. It’s being open and receptive to others, instead of defensive and closed off.

Successful people tend to have higher self-esteem not because they are striving for self-worth itself, but because it’s a by-product of overcoming challenges and making meaningful connections with others.

Implying that without incentive to work, most of us would sit around doing nothing. It’s a common notion, one deeply ingrained in our Protestant work ethic society. But it’s wrong.

Acceptance creates space, allowing us to let the sensation float away or evaluate and reframe it.

According to Fredrickson, when we experience positive emotions, we’re more likely to have novel thoughts, take on new challenges, and embrace new experiences. On the other hand, negative emotions tend to make us narrow our possibilities. Negative emotions constrain our thoughts and behavior.