Dear Sugar Letter #39

You have to accept there is no right answer, there is no one who has all the answers.

It’a a tough choice...but then again, that’s what being a parent is, making tough choices.

"Parent or childfree" used to be my framework for understanding a dividing difference of adult life. But aging and, yes, friendship, have taught me that there are so many experiences that binary doesn't capture: To want kids but not be able to have them, for physical or financial or logistical reasons. To not want kids but accidentally get pregnant... See more

If you’ve read my letters to my son, Myles, you know I am madly in love with him, and I love sharing with the world this love I did not get to experience myself. He’s given me a new sense of purpose. (I hate disclaimers, but I feel like I had to set this up for what I’m about to say.)

At the same time, I struggle with how much my marriage changed so... See more

She said, “You need to figure out how to know.” Back then, the only way I knew how to know was to poll and research. I began polling. I called each of my friends, hoping that they would know what I should do. Next I began my research. I read every article I could find about infidelity, divorce, and children, hoping the experts would know what I sho

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And it’s the thing my mind kept swirling back to over these five weeks since you wrote to me and said you didn’t know the definition of “love.” It is not so incomprehensible as you pretend, sweet pea. Love is the feeling we have for those we care deeply about and hold in high regard. It can be light as the hug we give a friend or heavy as the sacri

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