Dear Ijeawele, or a Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions

Do not ever tell her that she should or should not do something because she is a girl.

So instead of teaching Chizalum to be likeable, teach her to be honest. And kind.

It is a hollow, appeasing, and bankrupt idea.

Teach her to question our culture’s selective use of biology as “reasons” for social norms.

Talk to her about sex, and start early. It will

If we stopped conditioning women to see marriage as a prize, then we would have fewer debates about a wife needing to cook in order to earn that prize.

Teach her to reject likeability. Her job is not to make herself likeable, her job is to be her full self, a self that is honest and aware of the equal humanity of other people.

probably be a bit awkward, but it is necessary.

Tell her that sex can be a beautiful thing and that, apart from the obvious physical consequences (for her as the woman!), it can also have emotional consequences. Tell her that her body belongs to her and her alone, that she should never feel the need to say yes to something she does not want, or something she feels pressured to do. Teach her that