exploring my personality

27 Feb 2025

on a road trip with my boyfriend, as the conversation a few hours into the drive lulled, he started sharing some fun facts he knew. history, science — i was impressed. but when it was my turn…

i blanked.

and it wasn’t really a blank if i just did not know. in high school i was well read, my memory was great. but covid, grief of my dad, uni, and the dopamine overload (inherent as a girl in my 20s) has made me lose interest in stuff that isn’t part of my uni curriculum, and i’m not retaining much.

i feel like i’m in a constant state of distraction (music, sitcoms, daydreaming) or stress, and no time to really workshop my personality.

i recently started a commonplace book to note down thoughts, ideas and research, but i’m not 100% engaging with it as well as possible, as it’s in chronological order of entry date, making organising difficult.

the other night, i watched a video about starting a digital garden and i would love to give this a go. where i can write up blogs / notes about what i watch and my thoughts, and tag them by theme.

over time, my opinions will interlink, my interests will stand out, and i’ll know how to continue understanding myself.

some thoughts i’d like to explore…

what is the meaning of life, and how can i give intention to it? right now i’m thinking community, love, creativity, and enjoying every moment as it comes. however, i’m not exactly aware of how i am trying to incorporate this into my life, and perhaps my career.
buddhist philosophy
the empires of south asian history
renaissance art
french history — the research i did before i visited paris & versailles in 2023 was so captivating, and i’d like to read it more
mary oliver’s poetry

my concerns

making time for this. but i could set aside 30 mins a day for this
wanting privacy and balancing that with a good online personal wiki-like platform
what will i do with this? but at the same time, why do i need to do anything?

some more notes on digital gardening:

art is created with the inspo of the art that the artist consumed
how can we be individual if we all watch the same tiktoks & media?
a good way to link your thoughts towards stuff with each other. active listening. not just turning ur brain off

key factors that make up the garden — https://maggieappleton.com/garden-history/

topography > timelines — not the timebased chronological structure typical of journals and blogs. think wiki
continuous growth
imperfection and learning in public. imperfect by design
playful, personal, experimental.
intercropping + content diversity- non-linear writing
non performative. just for u

notes

Ideas I'm Thinking About