If it lasts, then it’s real. If it doesn’t, then it wasn’t. Either that, or someone screwed it up really badly.

Yet, once past the shocking realization that this was indeed happening, I turned my attention to making sure it happened well.

Conscious Uncoupling, which allows

we have never really evolved beyond primitive and destructive ways of separating, yet at great cost to well-being and wholeheartedness—and in many incidences, severely handicapping ourselves, our children, and each other from successfully moving forward in life.

Much of the horror of a breakup is the insult to our expectations of how this story was supposed to unfold versus how it actually did.

Every intimacy carries, secreted somewhere below its initial lovely surfaces, the ever-coiled makings of complete catastrophe.

In short, it’s a breakup that manages to surmount, defy, and even triumph over the unconscious, primitive, and biologically based impulses we may have to lash out, punish, get revenge, and/or otherwise hurt the one by whom we feel hurt.

We started with the first step of the Conscious Uncoupling process, Find Emotional Freedom, which taught her how to harness the intensity of the wildly difficult emotions she was feeling and transform them from a destructive impulse to do harm into the constructive energies of lasting, positive change.

keep your primary focus on yourself and relate to this vision as yours to fulfill. Not because you’re letting the other person off the hook. But because you want to fully own your power, regardless of who someone else is choosing to be, refusing to give anyone the authority to determine how you are going to behave. Remember,