Conflict Is Not Abuse

“Is it possible that the anxiety, and remembering what happened to you, and imagining that I might be taking that away from you, overwhelmed what was actually being said in the present?”

And this, in turn, raised the question of whether or not we want people to be treated or to be punished.

I ask what the other person would say happened.

Now, normally when someone tells me that they are a victim and someone else is abusive, I first determine if they are in physical danger. If not, I then ask them a lot of questions so that I understand what has happened before I join in on condemning another human being.

But it is another thing to hear about what your group-bonding ritual is actually doing to another human being’s life.

the anxiety from the action.

the concept that people do things for reasons, and that these reasons may be rooted in early experiences which are worth identifying so that we don’t blame the present for the past.

The Courage to Love,

people have contradictions,