Maybe what’s at work is a kind of interior slut-shaming—if I suggest that such a damaging moment was the cause of my sexual activeness, then I disavow any good feelings I might have around my own sexuality. In other words, victimhood came to shape my own concept of my sexuality. When I sat down to write a memoir of my adolescent sex life, for

I had no idea that I had any other worth besides what pleasure I could provide for men and boys … I was very confused for a long time about who my body belonged to. So during the years of fifteen to twentyish, if someone wanted my body I tended to give it to them.