Come As You Are: Revised and Updated: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life

Result: You don’t develop a preference for the smell of a fertile female over the smell of an infertile female or even of another male. It requires a sexy (i.e., copulatory) experience to teach the male rat’s brain that a female in estrus is “sex-related.” The instinct to attempt copulation is there, and he’ll attempt copulation with everybody—but

What if you have the opposite combination—sensitive brakes plus not-so-sensitive accelerator? This describes about 1 to 4 percent of

like in chapter 6 we’ll learn that genital response is learning while the conscious experience of being “turned on” is learning + liking.

Sexual Inhibition System (SI). Your sexual brakes. “Inhibition” here doesn’t mean “shyness” but rather neurological “off” signals. Research has found that there are actually two brakes, reflecting the different functions of an inhibitory system. One brake works in much the same way as the accelerator. It notices all the potential threats in the env

So now you go into the next chamber, where the lights are off, it’s quiet and calm, and it smells like home. You love it here, it’s like a spa for rats. In this context, when the researcher zaps your top NAc, the same thing happens—approach behaviors. But this is where it gets interesting: When the researcher zaps your bottom NAc… approach behavior

Ultimately, the “you” that is consciously aware of being a “self,” an individual distinct from other individuals, is a composite self, a hologram built of these multiple motivational and cognitive processes all engaging with the environment and with each other, in a noisy, messy, multidirectional tug-of-war. As a person capable of desiring multiple

So Kaplan took the four-phase model out of the laboratory and adapted it to the lived experience of her clients. Her “triphasic” model of the sexual response cycle begins with desire, which she conceptualized as “interest in” or “appetite for” sex, much like hunger or thirst.2 The second phase is arousal, which combines excitement and plateau into

These changes in perception are not “just in your head.” People who are given a drug that will relax them and are told, “This is a drug that will relax you,” not only feel more relaxed compared to those who got the drug but not the information, they also have more of the drug in their blood plasma.11 Context changes more than how you feel; it can c

“It’s like one day I just decided that it was all bullshit. Who are they to tell me I’m not amazing exactly as I am?”