Be flexible and willing to start over as often as needed. GOGI—Getting Out by Going In—refers to getting out of any prison we find ourselves in by going within.

In my group, I saw people who felt responsible for the entire world, but they refused to take responsibility for leading and living their own lives.

Detachment is based on the premises that everyone is responsible for themselves, that we can’t solve problems that aren’t ours to solve, and that worrying doesn’t help.

Rescuing and caretaking are synonymous. Their definitions are closely connected to enabling. Enabling is therapeutic jargon that means a destructive form of helping. Any acts that help a substance abuser continue abusing, prevent the abuser from suffering consequences, or in any way make it easier for a substance abuser to continue abusing are cons

Strangely enough, problems can become addicting, and many codependents become drama addicts. If we live with misery, crises, and turmoil long enough, the fear and stimulation caused by problems can become a comfortable emotional experience.

Is there a problem or person in your life that you are excessively worried about? Write about that person or problem. Write as much as you need to write to get it out of your system. When you have written all you need to write about that person or problem, focus on yourself. What are you thinking? What are you feeling?

Sex is a way to express the love that already exists.

We don’t have to take rejection as a reflection of our self-worth. If somebody who is important (or even someone unimportant) to you rejects you or your choices, you are still real, and you are still worth every bit as much as you would be if you had not been rejected. Feel any feelings that go with rejection. Talk about your thoughts. But don’t fo

Detachment involves living in the here and now. We allow life to happen instead of forcing and trying to control it. We relinquish regrets over the past and fears about the future. We make the most of each day. We live freely.