Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself

… If I can accept that I am who I am, that I feel what I feel, that I have done what I have done—if I can accept it whether I like all of it or not—then I can accept myself.

I will not allow anyone to physically or verbally abuse me. I will not knowingly believe or support lies. I will not allow chemical abuse in my home.

To be happy we need someone to love, something to do, and something to look forward to.

they do whatever is asked of them; they please people; and they try to do their work perfectly—at least for a while, until they become angry and resentful.

The only difference between codependents and the rest of the world is that the other people don’t pick on themselves for being who they are.

to love and be loved, and to believe they are worthwhile and know someone else believes that also.1 I

“Success requires heart and soul effort and you can only put your heart and soul into something you really desire.”

Many codependents have been taught other ways to be caretakers. Maybe someone taught us these lies, and we believed them: don’t be selfish, always be kind and help people, never hurt other people’s feelings because we “make them feel,” never say no, and don’t mention personal wants and needs because it’s not polite.

“This is as far as I go. This is my limit. I will not tolerate this.”

Slow down. You don’t have to feel so frightened. You don’t have to feel so frantic. Keep things in perspective. Make life easier for you.