Change Your Questions, Change Your Life: 12 Powerful Tools for Leadership, Coaching, and Life

“Action follows thought,” Grace added. “It’s a basic principle. But I never thought about it in terms of questions. Action follows questions. Seems to me the trick is to just keep ourselves in a Learner frame of mind.”

“If it’s true that you’re coming across as a know-it-all,” he continued, “which is the downfall of the Answer Man, you don’t leave much room for anyone else. You’re great at the technical stuff, Ben, but your present job requires much more than that.

What happened? What do I want? What’s useful about this? What can I learn? What’s the other person thinking, feeling, and wanting? What are my choices? What’s best to do now? What’s possible?”

Thus Ben learns to self-coach,

Socrates’ injunction “know thyself” speaks to this keystone of emotional intelligence: awareness of one’s own feelings as they occur.

And the more we indulge it the more it becomes a habit and takes over. While it’s true we can never get rid of Judger, we can learn to manage it, to just be with it. Once you can do that a whole new way of being becomes available to you.

Real personal power depends on how good we get at recovering from Judger once it takes over. That’

The big question is whether you are going to be able to say a hearty “yes” to your adventure. Joseph Campbell

What’s really going on with me? Am I willing to forgive myself? And how do I want to feel?