Change Your Questions, Change Your Life: 12 Powerful Tools for Leadership, Coaching, and Life

And we’re most effective at virtually everything we do when we’re in Learner. That’s when we’re most resourceful and flexible and have the most options.

And the more we indulge it the more it becomes a habit and takes over. While it’s true we can never get rid of Judger, we can learn to manage it, to just be with it. Once you can do that a whole new way of being becomes available to you.

Real personal power depends on how good we get at recovering from Judger once it takes over. That’

The big question is whether you are going to be able to say a hearty “yes” to your adventure. Joseph Campbell

“If it’s true that you’re coming across as a know-it-all,” he continued, “which is the downfall of the Answer Man, you don’t leave much room for anyone else. You’re great at the technical stuff, Ben, but your present job requires much more than that.

What happened? What do I want? What’s useful about this? What can I learn? What’s the other person thinking, feeling, and wanting? What are my choices? What’s best to do now? What’s possible?”

‘Either you have your questions, or your questions have you.’

Thus Ben learns to self-coach,

What’s really going on with me? Am I willing to forgive myself? And how do I want to feel?