Or perhaps the other person represents an aspect of ourselves that we’ve disowned. In psychological terms, this phenomenon is called projection. We get impatient with others who represent aspects of ourselves that we have pushed away or are angry we don’t have.

When a problem is disturbing you, don’t ask, “What should I do about it?” Ask, “What part of me is being disturbed by this?”

A great way to understand yourself is to seriously reflect on everything you find irritating in others.