
Calypso

I insist that Carol eat in my presence for the same reason I wait for the coffee shop employee to turn back in my direction before putting a tip in his basket. I want to be acknowledged as a generous provider. This is about me, not them.
David Sedaris • Calypso
By that point in the evening she’d look different, raw, like you’d taken the lady she was earlier and peeled her.
David Sedaris • Calypso
if I weren’t so concerned about, for example, meeting my daily Fitbit goal, I’d realize there’s a six-hundred-year-old milkmaid living in our silverware drawer.
David Sedaris • Calypso
It’s beautiful, the Atlantic, but at the same time so insistent, always advancing, always taking what it wants.
David Sedaris • Calypso
“The last time Phil saw her, she leaned over in her wheelchair and at the top of her voice said, ‘Hitler wants my pussy.’”
David Sedaris • Calypso
“It used to be that whenever I passed a mirror, I’d look at my face,” Gretchen said, blowing out a mouthful of cigarette smoke. “Now I just check to see if my nipples line up.”