Brain Food: Believing, Toys, and Feedback

app — do you like it?” Exposing your ego (aka The Pathos Problem). “So here’s that top-secret project I quit my job for... what do you think?” “I can take it — be honest and tell me what you really think!” Being pitchy. “No no, I don’t think you get it...” “Yes, but it also does this!” Being too formal. “So, first off, thanks for agreeing to this i

When you show a design and ask for feedback, people will give feedback. Their feedback may or may not be related to any expertise they have—could be an opinion, or could be a random thought. Very few people have the confidence to say, “I don’t think I can offer anything here” or “Looks good to me.” Almost everyone will feel they need to contribute.

The kind of feedback we get from parents, teachers, and mentors when we are young has a major impact on the beliefs we develop about our abilities—including whether we see them as innate and unchangeable or as capable of developing through effort and practice.

Feedback is a listening system. In the new world of work, leaders cannot wait for negative critiques on Glassdoor, or for valued contributors to exit for another job.

The problem of failing to ask for feedback is not unique to therapists; it’s common among all kinds of people. Just think about the number of people you have personal or professional relationships with: friends, landscapers, dentists, mailmen, spouses, bosses. Now, how often do any one of them regularly ask you, “How am I doing?” in an authentic wa