Blame Game Theory - by Aella - Knowingless

But these men frequently confirmed her view that men were weak and unable to stand up for themselves, and she would test them by criticizing them. She secretly wanted them to assert themselves and not be affected by her attacks. Instead, these men would often get hurt. She would feel terribly guilty. The guiltier she felt, the more she wanted them

The good husband’s fantasy that he shouldn’t be dependent on others cannot help but lower his sense of self-esteem. The good husband will eventually find himself stuck in a double bind. He believes he must never be weak, and he sees any dependency as a weakness. At the same time, he feels tremendous stress at having always to be

Her behavior seems to justify the man’s belief that he must take care of his wife—but does it? When he takes responsibility for her, he deprives her of the opportunity to learn how to care for herself and thus maintains her dependence. In my experience, the man’s need to be responsible for his wife is not based so much on necessity or desirability

MEN WEREN’T REALLY THE ENEMY— THEY WERE FELLOW VICTIMS SUFFERING FROM AN OUTMODED MASCULINE MYSTIQUE THAT MADE THEM FEEL UNNECESSARILY INADEQUATE WHEN THERE WERE