Big Feelings

As many have clearly noted, the relationship between the boy and tree is much like that between a child and mother. The tree puts the boy’s needs first. It gives and gives and gives. This is part of the role of a mother, which competes at times with a woman’s own needs to develop herself as a person apart from her mothering role and her relationshi

develop your own Good Mother inside.

When we see that what is offered is given out of love rather than out of obligation, we feel deeply touched. (Children of emotionally absent mothers often feel that any caring from their mothers came out of obligation.) If we can take in this freely given love and care, eventually we will develop a healthy sense of entitlement, the sense that our n

Unresolved feelings about your mother may also be prompted by situations that have to do with mothering, such as having a child yourself or the loss that comes when your last child leaves home.

One woman reported that her mother had shown her a few things like how to make salads and wash the dishes, but had taught her nothing about how to “do life”—how to have a conversation or relate to other people, how to manage her emotions, or anything important. Such mothers seem to have vacated the mentor role, or at the least to feel quite insecur