Big Feelings

Anxiety is general unease because of an uncertain outcome. We feel anxious when we aren’t sure how larger forces will interfere with our lives. Fear is when we believe that something specific will happen (like tripping over your words during an important presentation, or a loved one dying).

“It’s possible your friends don’t want to burden you with their own troubles,” she explained. “It’s thoughtful but it’s also possible that it’s making you feel like everyone but you is thriving.”

“We don’t resist change,” organizational psychologist Dr. Laura Gallaher told us. “We resist loss.”

Separate the withins from the beyonds

Counterintuitively, science shows that what makes us miserable isn’t comparison itself; it’s when we don’t compare ourselves to others enough. That might sound ridiculous at first, especially if you believe the saying “Comparison is the thief of joy” (which has been attributed to President Theodore Roosevelt and others).

When we start to view ourselves as constantly learning and improving, we adopt what psychologists call a growth mind-set. A growth mind-set lets us see uncertain territory as an opportunity to learn something new. Uncertainty may still be challenging, but it won’t be as threatening. A growth mind-set is the difference between hitting an obstacle an

To make sure you’re not creating even more anxiety for yourself, we encourage you to also ask: Is there evidence for my fear, or am I making assumptions? What is the probability that my worst case materializes? What’s the best-case scenario? What’s most likely to happen?

The modern world makes it hard not to constantly track your progress against someone else’s: Glassdoor salaries, home square footage, vacation selfies, and your Bumble date’s high school soccer stats can be instantly summoned with a Google search.

Humans are a relational species, so it’s natural to wonder how you measure up. And observing others can be a source of motivation: