Beyond Satisfied

You can try a variety of different kinds of touch around your partner’s clit, but a few specific techniques stand out as being the most popular pleasures. If your partner prefers sensation across her whole vulva, use your whole hand, with fingers flat and pressed together, to stroke back and forth across her vulva and clit. The subtle ripple betwee

I make a mental map of the stops I find that are pleasurable to her—and I also use the opportunity to give her a few warm-up orgasms. (We’ll talk more about multiple orgasms, and

The position of the cervix in the vagina varies from woman to woman. Also, the cervix ascends and descends in the vaginal canal at different points in the menstrual cycle. Getting to know where your partner’s cervix sits in her vagina is important. If you’re super comfortable with a partner, I recommend getting a plastic speculum and a flashlight a

I recommend starting with hands to get a practical understanding of your partner’s body and her pleasure points first. When you add toys in after gaining knowledge first, the toys become an extension of you, and you’ll know exactly how to use them.

Just keep fucking doing what you’re doing.

Like we talked about in Chapter Three, watching your partner masturbate is a great way to understand how she likes her clit to be touched. You can start with the same techniques to give her the same stimulation she gives herself and build from there. Remember the clit clocking game from Chapter Three? Watch for how your partner moves her finger aro

This is one reason partnered sex can be so much better than solo sex: you can position yourself in a variety of orientations, which means you can reach places and angles that your partner can’t. As you explore your partner’s clit, vulva, and

The precise location matters quite a bit. Moving her finger from bottom to top, or six o’clock to twelve o’clock, gives her sensation across the head of her clit, while moving her finger from top to bottom actually sweeps the finger across the hood of the clit first with less sensation on the head (unless you pull it back). These specific locations

find I can learn more by using my hands than by going down on my partner, because I have more options for the type of touch, as well as the pressure, speed, and friction I can create. And of course, there’s always the option to do oral and fingering at the same time.