Better Than Before: What I Learned About Making and Breaking Habits--to Sleep More, Quit Sugar, Procrastinate Less, and Generally Build a Happier Life

I should tailor my habits to the fundamental aspects of my nature that aren’t going to change.

Stopping halts momentum, breeds guilt, makes us feel bad about losing ground, and, worst of all, breaks the habit so that the need for decision making returns—which demands energy, and often results in making a bad decision.

Two kinds of clarity support habit formation: clarity of values and clarity of action. The clearer I am about what I value, and what action I expect from myself—not what other people value, or expect from me—the more likely I am to stick to my habits.

Before I started, I hadn’t been making the most of my opportunities to create the life I wanted. Now, all that I’d learned about habits was helping me to make my life better than before, and step by step, to make my life more nearly my Utopia.

A friend who works in his studio apartment figured out a way to avoid the distractions of napping and snacking. Every morning he makes his bed, eats breakfast, and “goes to work” for the day, which means he doesn’t allow himself to sit on his bed or go into the kitchen, except at mealtime.

Sometimes treats might not look like treats. Writer Jan Struther observed, “Constructive destruction is one of the most delightful employments in the world.” I find that true, and tasks like shredding mail, emptying out files, or even peeling hard-boiled eggs can feel like a treat. Funnily enough, clearing clutter is also a treat for me, when I’m i

Sometimes we can even reframe a challenging habit as a treat, which makes it much easier to keep. A reader observed, “When I thought of exercise as something I ‘should’ do, it was hard to get into a routine. Eventually, I decided to count my daily walk or cross-country ski as a treat—my time for myself in a day otherwise filled with responsibilitie

Pairing is effective—sometimes, too effective. It’s easy to allow a bad habit to form by creating a pair. Some familiar bad-habit pairs: “I always get drunk on Saturday nights.” “I always read an email as soon as I get it.” “I always go shopping when I’m traveling.” Once the pair is formed, breaking it up feels like deprivation.

Beautiful smells are a reliable treat and can be enjoyed in an instant, with no cost, no effort, and no planning. In a flash, I get pleasure from the fresh smell of a grapefruit, or the comforting fragrance of clean towels,