I learned that taking the edge off is not rewarding, but putting the edge back on is one of the most worthwhile things we can do. Those sharp edges feel vulnerable, but they are also the markers that let us know where we end and others begin.

Research shows that “people who have strong connections with others are happier, healthier, and better able to cope with the stresses of everyday life.”

“highly significant positive correlation between sadness and enjoyment.” However, this association is sequential. Sadness leads to feeling moved, which in turn leads to enjoyment. “Hence sadness primarily functions as a contributor to and intensifier of the emotional state of being moved.”

People will do almost anything to not feel pain, including causing pain and abusing power; Very few people can handle being held accountable without rationalizing, blaming, or shutting down; and Without understanding how our feelings, thoughts, and behaviors work together, it’s almost impossible to find our way back to ourselves and each other.

We try to model the questions: What expectations do you have going into this? What do you want to happen? Why? What will that mean to you? Do you have a movie in your head? And in this perception-driven world, the big question is always: Are you setting goals and expectations that are completely outside of your control?

Shame needs you to believe that you’re alone. Empathy is a hostile environment for shame.

Curiosity doesn’t exist without interest, but we can be interested and not have our interest grow to curiosity.

Hopelessness can apply to a specific situation (such as feeling hopeless about finishing school or feeling hopeless about our financial future) or to life more generally.

We can think of surprise as “a bridge between cognition and emotion.” But it’s a short bridge! Surprise is the shortest-duration emotion, rarely lasting more than a few seconds. In addition to being a short bridge, surprise is also an amplifier. Once our thinking brain works out the unexpected thing that’s happening, we move into emotion. There’s