On the surface, the near enemies of emotions or experiences might look and even feel like connection, but ultimately they drive us to be disconnected from ourselves and from each other. Without awareness, near enemies become the practices that fuel separation, rather than practices that reinforce the inextricable connection of all people.

Discouraged: I’m losing my confidence and enthusiasm about any future effort—I’m losing the motivation and confidence to persist.

is that a deeper sense of belonging and “connection to a larger humanity gives people more freedom to express their individuality without fear of jeopardizing belonging.”

When someone shares something great that’s happened to them, we can show interest and ask questions. When someone demonstrates joy when we share ours, we can express gratitude:

It’s often hard to find our way back into our bodies after experiencing anguish. This is why so much effective trauma work today is not only about reclaiming our breath, our feelings, and our thinking, but also getting our bones back and returning to our bodies.

I am bad. The focus is on self, not behavior. The result is feeling flawed and unworthy of love, belonging, and connection. Shame is not a driver of positive change.

“The only thing certain in the emotion field is that no one agrees on how to define emotion.”

Vulnerability is not weakness; it’s our greatest measure of courage.

Research shows that “people who have strong connections with others are happier, healthier, and better able to cope with the stresses of everyday life.”