Let me tell you what does not make me happy: the fact that there’s really

We want to be a part of something—to experience real connection with others—but not at the cost of their authenticity, freedom, or power. Participants further reported feeling surrounded by “us versus them” cultures that create feelings of spiritual disconnection.

Self-kindness is both more difficult and more revolutionary than we think.

According to Neff, self-compassion has three elements: self-kindness, common humanity, and mindfulness. This is how she defines each of these elements: Self-kindness vs. self-judgment: “Self-compassion entails being warm and understanding toward ourselves when we suffer, fail, or feel inadequate, rather than ignoring our pain or flagellating oursel

Shame needs you to believe that you’re alone. Empathy is a hostile environment for shame.

The antidote to shame is empathy. If we reach out and share our shame experience with someone who responds with empathy, shame dissipates.

Connection, along with love and belonging (two expressions of connection), is why we are here, and it is what gives purpose and meaning to our lives. Shame is the fear of disconnection—it’s the fear that something we’ve done or failed to do, an ideal that we’ve not lived up to, or a goal that we’ve not accomplished makes us unworthy of connection.

We’re all afraid to talk about it. Sometimes we can feel shame when we just say the word “shame.” But it’s getting easier as more people are talking about it. The less we talk about it, the more control it has over us. Shame hates being spoken.

We all have it. Shame is universal and one of the most primitive emotions that we experience. The only people who don’t experience it are those who lack the capacity for empathy and human connection.