But tonight there is no pad to audit me, and the paper is a small country with no border guards, and the only person who will read this is the person who will burn it with me tomorrow and tell me to stop making the story wear my shoes. I will. I will stand in my socks and let the story go barefoot.

But tonight I get to be useless. Tonight I get to say the thing that is not helpful to the case and not helpful to the committee and not helpful to AAHCOC: I loved him by reading him. I did. I loved him by letting his “hurts” sit in my mouth like a coin and I loved him by hating the word sacred when it stole mercy and I loved him by saying his name... See more