you can begin to sense if this is a relationship in which the two of you can work together to help each other heal and grow, or if it is time to move on.

The process of becoming self-full involves having the experiences of care and soothing we needed as children now.

This means that a big part of understanding our selves and healing our emotional lives, including our romantic relationships, is about being able to listen to our hearts’ messages.

The busier and more distracted we are, and the more we continue to look for love outside of ourselves, the harder it will be to hear Little Me, let alone to call on the love and support of our Inner Nurturers.

It takes time and commitment to unravel the experiences that led to you becoming anxiously attached, and heal your core wounds so you can make secure attachments based on mutual reciprocity with a partner.

Faced with difficult emotions, the common response is to try to fix them as quickly as possible—whether this means medicating them away (with alcohol or prescription drugs) or simply putting on a brave face and pretending that everything is okay.

As a result of this stagnant energy, we also begin to lack creativity and spontaneity, and can feel deflated, uneasy, and unfulfilled. We struggle to access our higher self or to find any kind of spiritual connection or meaning in the world. We become disconnected from our intuition and our innate sense of knowing when something is right or wrong

It’s like being a horse that forgets it can walk without being whipped forward.

Narcissists actually create destabilizing scenarios that mean they remain the center of attention, bolstering the belief of their wounded Little Me that they will only get what they need by dominating others.