
Anger, Boundaries and Safety

Punishment is ‘payback’ time; discipline, on the other hand, is educational.
Joann S. Peterson • Anger, Boundaries and Safety
Each time a child challenges the parent, the adult once again squats down to the child’s eye level and with undivided attention repeats the safety behaviour, reminding the child of appropriate and inappropriate ways to be angry. This is discipline. The goal of discipline is learning; punishment is more focused on ‘getting even’ or retribution.
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Or you could try a two-minute obsession stomp circle. Start walking in a circle, breathe, and begin to say your inner obsessive thoughts out loud. Talk louder, stomp your feet down as you walk, breathe and let your energy increase! Make it bigger and bigger – make it almost outrageous! Keep going to the point where the energy shifts – sometimes
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- SOUND. Energizer and anger release. Growl like an animal or monster, yell in the car, scream into a pillow, swear up a storm, scream under water. Remember to use breath from your belly; you will get more volume and save your vocal chords. For anger release, begin by focusing on the source of your anger.
Joann S. Peterson • Anger, Boundaries and Safety
- TEAR. Energizer and anger release. Enjoy the satisfaction of tearing old telephone books, old school texts, old magazines, and old sheets/towels which are destined for rags. And remember to then take the torn paper to recycling!
Joann S. Peterson • Anger, Boundaries and Safety
You should also not be surprised if other feelings surface when you have expressed your anger. Remember that anger is a secondary feeling; once you express your anger you may open to a deeper layer of sadness, hurt or fear. These are the feelings that produced anger in the first place, and your expression of anger can create an opportunity to
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Critical to creating safety is the acceptance of anger as an energizing release for tension and the passionate expression of our life-force energy. This acceptance has a domino effect. Initially we begin to notice the positive impact on the quality of our relationships. Then we become aware that the state of our body-mind health is enhanced through
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As I mentioned earlier, simply choosing and stating a boundary does not mean it will be acknowledged, welcomed or respected. When it isn’t, where do we go next? What are the consequences?
Joann S. Peterson • Anger, Boundaries and Safety
It is very important to conclude the spoken statement with a request that the boundary be respected. Be careful! It is also important to distinguish between a request and an expectation. A request opens and invites dialogue, while an expectation is about control, so it closes and builds walls.