An essay in which my friend feels stuck and I suggest relaxing some constraints

If I look at things that have turned out well in my life—my relationship, some of my essays, my current career—the "design process" has followed the same pattern. It has been what Christopher Alexander called an "unfolding."

If I look at things that have not turned out as well—my education, the books I've written and hidden on a hard drive in our at... See more