The reason it can feel so dangerous is because for many people admitting hope and desire and longing means no longer being able to compartmentalize all the feelings.

By not presupposing what your gender is and what it should be okay with, you allow yourself to determine the truth of it.

There is commonly a last-ditch effort at hyperfemininity before realizing that the problem isn’t the effort given to the task; it is that they are attempting the wrong task. Apparently cis people don’t find performing their genders a task!

The times when you feel like having a tantrum, or pouting, or start feeling small and wanting to shrink into a corner are often times when that little kid wants to be noticed. And those can be the best times to check in with them. You can start by asking what they need and listening to the answer.

But a “perfect” system isn’t possible. It’s not possible to create a system that only allows people who will have zero regrets through and will stop 100 percent of people who will have regrets at the door. The experience of being trans does not fit into a diagnosis because there is no medical or mental health assessment that makes sense.

We become skilled at staying away from the memories that evoke heavy feelings.

If inner child work is about reconnecting with safety, then the work of reconnecting with your inner adolescent is about working out and integrating your identity.

It is not uncommon to feel even more confused after proceeding with early aspects of transition.

Allow yourself to truly assess your range of options from the simplest to what feels the most extreme without taking anything off the list. Because for now, it is simply a list of possibilities.