If our very identity is wrapped up in something and we lose it, we lose our very sense of self. If you are getting your identity from the love of a person—you won’t be able to give them criticism because their anger will devastate you. Nor will you be able to bear their personal sorrows and difficulties. If they have a problem and start to get self

The absence of trust in one’s own authentic identity is a powerful motivator to place trust in other things, hoping they will help us understand who we are. Coupled with a lifetime of results in which our adapted self has worked fairly well for us, discovering a different way of being is no small task.