All Fours: A Novel

Generally speaking, when real pain was involved, there was no reason. No one to hold accountable. No apology. Pain just was; it radiated with no narrative and no end.

But there was enough hypocrisy built into life, one shouldn’t choose it.

“We’re reshaping the calendar. The bookmark worked. Every day is Tuesday.”

Some customs have remained—monogamy—but not all the microtendrils that actually made it possible: the community, the dances, and God knows what else.

historical biologist, was my last hope. She said that marriage wasn’t the problem, it was the social ecosystem around it.

Only the words came out mangled because I had too much spit in my mouth; I had forgotten to swallow the entire time she was talking.

It had to be annoying that I was answering every question with such uncertainty, but anything more confident would be inaccurate.

On the weekends, I was expected to be present and engaged for many hours in a row,

Each night I came in from the garage as late as possible, the evening hours with Harris and Sam being the most treacherous as I mimed my way through interactions that should have been second nature, a perpetual houseguest nervously trying to demonstrate how at ease she felt.