All communication is lossy

The nonsense was the essential lesson I learned from my first managerial Fall: when communications are down, listen hard, repeat everything, and assume nothing.

If, on the other hand, you use a one-way communication method (email, text, or voicemail), then the recipient can easily become defensive and angry without you realizing it. And because you don’t notice the anger, you won’t be able to address it. Unaddressed, that anger will soon turn into resentment toward you.

The basic idea is that each exchange of verbal dialogue has four levels: 1) What we mean to say. You know, the actual idea you are trying to express. 2) What we actually say. If you are really good at saying only exactly what you mean at all times, I hope you write a book on your technique. For us regular humans, what we have in our minds and what