Psychology has names for this. Repetition. Secondary gain. Familiar distress . The language is accurate but bloodless. It doesn’t capture the aesthetic pleasure of melancholy well-worn, the satisfaction of being able to say this is why I am like this . It doesn’t account for how seductive it can feel to remain loyal to a wound rather than risk a... See more

All relationships are built on boundaries that both keep in and keep out. I had wanted an in-betweenness, but perhaps only because we couldn’t and didn’t cross the traditional boundaries.

If it weren’t for the circumstances, we might have fallen into a conventional romance. I’m afraid I’m only trying so hard to find an ambiguous fourth category for... See more