Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents

Relationships are sustained by the pleasure of emotional intimacy, the feeling that someone is interested in taking the time to really listen and understand your experience. If you don’t have that, your relationship won’t thrive. Mutual emotional responsiveness is the single most essential ingredient of human relationships.

For emotionally immature people, all interactions boil down to the question of whether they’re good people or bad ones, which explains their extreme defensiveness if you try to talk to them about something they did. They often respond to even mild complaints about their behavior with an extreme statement, like “Well, then, I must be the worst mothe

Parents who are emotionally immature, on the other hand, are so self-preoccupied that they don’t notice their children’s inner experiences. In addition, they discount feelings,

They fear that their children will embarrass them by not succeeding, yet they can’t offer their children the unconditional acceptance that would give them a secure foundation from which to go out and achieve.

In spite of not resonating empathically, they are often quite canny when it comes to reading other people’s intentions and feelings. However, they don’t use their understanding of people to foster emotional intimacy. Instead, their empathy operates at an instinctual or superficially sentimental level. You may feel sized up, but not felt for.

When internalizers finally seek help, including therapy, they often feel embarrassed and undeserving. Internalizers who grew up with emotionally immature parents are always surprised to have their feelings taken seriously. They often downplay their suffering as being over “silly things” or “stupid stuff.” Some even comment that they shouldn’t be ta

Because they’re so attuned to feelings, internalizers are extremely sensitive to the quality of emotional intimacy in their relationships. Their entire personality longs for emotional spontaneity and intimacy, and they can’t be satisfied with less.

Is too distant

This casts light on a curious fact about emotionally immature people. In spite of not resonating empathically, they are often quite canny when it comes to reading other people’s intentions and feelings. However, they don’t use their understanding of people to foster emotional intimacy. Instead, their empathy operates at an instinctual or superficia