Admitting You Are Wrong

You may learn that what you really seek is understanding and acknowledgment. What you want the other person to say isn’t “It was my fault,” but rather “I understand that I hurt you and I’m sorry.” The first statement is about judgment, the second about understanding.

If you find yourself mired in a continuing urge to blame, or with an unceasing desire for the other person to admit that they were wrong, you may find some relief by asking yourself: “What feelings am I failing to express?” and “Has the other person acknowledged my feelings?” As you explore this terrain, you may find yourself naturally shifting fro

A proper apology

consists of conveying the 3 Rs:

regret (genuine empathy with the other)

responsibility (not blaming someone else)

and remedy (your willingness to fix it).

apologizer focuses on the impact on their actions and resists the urge to frame their message around their intentions,

I created the environment that made them feel they had to lie. I mistook their neutral behavior as betrayal. I made it more appealing for them to disappear than to communicate. It felt so good to think it was all my fault! This is way better than forgiving. When you forgive, you’re still assuming that they’re wrong and you’re the victim. But to dec

There are five apology languages:

1. Expressing regret (“I feel ashamed for how I hurt you.”)

2. Accepting responsibility (“I was wrong for doing that to you.”)

3. Genuinely repent (“I can only imagine how much pain I caused, I am so sorry. I won’t do that again. Next time, I will do _____ differently.”)

4. Making restitution (“This is how I will make it up to you

Acknowledging your mistakes takes humility and courage and gives others permission to act the same. Although it’s easier to get defensive and deny responsibility, sharing when you’ve made a mistake is a great sign of emotional maturity.