30 Lessons for Loving: Advice from the Wisest Americans on Love, Relationships, and Marriage

“What questions do you desperately want answered about relationships, love, and marriage?”

In the search for a partner, nearly all of the experts described a powerful “sense of rightness,” an intuitive and almost indescribable conviction that you have made the right choice.

Like almost all of the elders I met from Puerto Rico—and indeed from throughout the Caribbean—Jessica played dominoes. “We used to go to a club to play dominoes there. I love to play dominoes and he liked it, too. It’s nice; it’s fun. And it keeps your mind sharp, you know?

You just have to love them because it’s somebody that you’d like to spend the rest of your life with.

One couple chose what they considered to be the most important domains in marriage—for them, these included money, children, career, religion, friends, and sex—and each wrote down one value for each domain.

Disconnect from your electronic devices when you are away from work.

When he and I would be in a room together with a lot of people, he would be looking at me and I would be looking and there was just a connection.

Follow your heart.

“Thinking back over your life, what are some of the most important lessons you feel you have learned about marriage?