Had I wanted so desperately to be special, to have a purpose, to recover from the shame of not being able to keep pace with the corporate world that I had somehow fabricated the entire thing? And how would I ever be able to tell for sure? If we are all just hallucinating this reality around us, how could we ever really know what is true and real

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You don't need permission. Be delusional https://t.co/w5ROqNQS2a

I found that in my self loathing, what I was really doing was protecting myself from actual self reflection that I could improve from. The idea that I was a massive idiot, embarrassing loser, failure, was so extreme that it protected me from any honest and constructive thoughts. The fragility of my self loathing was preventing me from looking at... See more